Hi All,

This month, I’d like to talk about the importance of childbirth education and doula support, without an agenda.

We all have an idea in our minds of what a perfect birth would be like. It might be one of our own birthing experiences, a birth we have attended, or just a mythical birth that we have created in our own minds (mine would definitely include an en caul birth since I have yet to see one!) But as educators and as doulas, it is so important to constantly remind ourselves that our dream birth scenario is ours alone.

No matter how well we know the client or student that we are working with, we will never know the full picture of their lives. We will likely never be able to understand every small, nuanced experience they have had that has led them to this moment and to make the decisions that they make. That is why it is so important for us to make sure that we have conveyed as much evidence-based information as possible, and then relinquish the reins to the mother and family we are supporting. Our scope of practice as doulas and educators is to inform and to support, but not to advise.

I have found with most families that I have worked with that they feel overwhelmed by the amount of advice that they receive from so many different sources from grandmothers to OB-GYNs, to strangers on the street. Of course all of the advice is well intentioned, and much of it (though certainly not all of it!) should be considered and weighed, but ultimately, if that expectant parent has as much solid, evidence-based information as possible, what they really need from a doula is support and validation that the decisions that they are making for themselves and their growing families are good decisions for them. What is a good decision for one person might be very different than what is a good decision for another person.

Of course we all have made decisions that we wish we had chosen differently on, and the families we serve may make decisions that they may wish they could change, but having the permission to make that decision using the all the information and resources available to them,  and be supported in it, will make whatever the outcome of that decision is feel more empowering.

And that, my friends, is what I believe makes a good doula. The ability to give information without advice, and then to be able to support, love, and suspend judgment regardless of what our client chooses to do with that information. Not everyone’s decisions will be the same as the decisions we would make for ourselves, but those decisions are no less worthy of support and respect.

I will now get off my soapbox/high-horse and return to giving information, advice, and judgment (in a very loving way) to my two young children who want none of the information or advice that I have to offer.

Bye for now! I hope to see you all at the conference!

Rachel Majors