Laura Shanley is a free-lance writer, birth consultant, speaker, poet and author of the book Unassisted Childbirth. She is also the mother to four children who were all born at home without the help of doctors of midwives.  I had the opportunity to read her book and wanted to find out more about who she was, her philosophy, and her work.  Lucky for me she was more than willing to answer a few questions which I have shared here with you.  Enjoy and please share your thoughts!

SS: What prompted the new edition? What were the biggest changes? Were you super excited that Michel Odent wrote the forward?

Fathers at Birth by Rose St. John

 I love this book for many reasons and recommend it to families all the time.  It is useful not only for partners but for doulas and anyone else attending a woman in labor.  There were many important parts that I thought we should discuss but I tried to limit the discussion because I know we are all pressed for time.  If I missed anything you would like to bring up please feel free to do so…again-let’s have fun!

 In the book Rose St. John talks about the father or support person needing to “Be the Mountain.” What has been your experience? Most of the time I have dads who are very involved and other times I have experienced something quite different.  One father we caught drinking in the hospital, another father was getting lightheaded and faint. Just recently I had a mother express concern for her upcoming birth-she was concerned that her husband would be on the phone the entire time and wanted to talk with me about how we would handle that.  What do you think and how do you encourage dads/partners to “Be the Mountain?” and what do you do when they are not?

 What about “Be the Warrior.”  How do you discuss or do you discuss at all the role of partners or do you let them figure it out on their own? Do you encourage them to protect moms, be her warrior or to stick to their comfort zone?

Do you ever wonder what men really think about pregnancy, labor, birth, and breastfeeding? Is there a moment when they are jealous that the cannot experience it all first hand? Or do they secretly think "Oh wow, that was gross!" even as they are smiling and nodding while they watch us have a bowel movement in the middle of pushing our children out? 

I have caught my own husband inadvertently let his true feelings peek through his facial expressions, especially when I am excitedly sharing what I've just learned from reading my latest book on placental preservation. While he truly remains supportive, his (sometimes still immature) male mind is full of jokes, related anecdotes, and other inappropriate material forever ready to spill out at the worst moment. Most men only have to dwell on the intricacies of childbirth for nine months at a time, a few times in their lives (unless they are employed in the field)--as birth professionals,  our men have to live childbirth morning, noon, and night! 

And let's talk about men employed in the birth field for just a moment. What about the women in their lives? Do they ever feel threatened, or that their man is becoming less of a man because he sees vaginas all day long? Now I know that's a touchy subject, but as the old adage goes, it's always the plumber who has the leaky faucet. He's so busy fixing other people's faucets he's too tired/bored/sick of looking at faucets to fix his own when he gets home. Something to think about. On the flip side, I suppose a man working with pregnant women, babies, and new mothers on a daily basis might also become more tender, more loving, more compassionate  and more understanding when their wife has PMS or PPD. 

This is my first book club experience.  At first I thought I would write a review of the book and the discussion would grow from there.  Then I realized that is not what a book club is about-we just want a place where we can chat about what we have read.  I have put together a series of questions and topics for discussion referring to either direct passages in the book or issues that were brought up to get our conversation going.  I am hoping these topic points will stimulate and the comments will explode from there. (next time I will go straight to the topics of discussion without an intro)

I have to say, third stage labor was never on my list of priorities for delivery-room decision making--until recently that is. Not that I am planning a visit any time soon to the delivery room for myself, but I can't help but keep my next birth plan at the back of mind, readily available for revisions and updating as I learn and discover new things. So here I am going to lay out my newest revisions and additions, most of which had you told me two years ago I would be considering implementing into the end of my next birth, I would have laughed out loud. Really hard. And there are a few things on this list that I am still working on convincing my husband about! (Don't even get me started about my coworkers or my friends. I casually mentioned placentophagy-- in layman's terms of course-- one day at work, and I am sure everyone was spinning their fingers around their ears as soon as I walked away. "She's coo-koo!!") 

-Delayed cord cutting. I did experience delayed cord cutting in my last (third) birth, but it was not intentional. Fortunately, I had a wonderful midwife who simply incorporated this practice into all births without being asked. Next time, I fully intend to watch the wonder of the cord emptying itself into my new baby. I guess you could call me a umbilical cord nerd! And no cord blood for the cord blood vampires!