One of the things I explore in birth classes is feelings about wanting to be "in control" or "staying in control" during birth. I ask couples to consider what "losing control" would mean to them and what the benefits of "losing control" might be.
I really enjoy this section from Childbirth with Insight about control and birth:
[with regard to prepared childbirth films and class] "...are instructive rather than enlightening. They confirm a particular teaching method by advocating roles and techniques. Such films obscure the fundamental holistic experience of birth. Couples are not aware that the power of giving birth involves individual surrender to its uncontrollable nature. It is understandable that expectant parents become anxious about their abilities to maintain the kind of control that is expected of them, given that no such control of natural forces is possible--or desirable."
"The actual experience of contractions, like other intense bodily sensations, is extremely difficult to describe...The more completely an expectant mother can experience labor as a unit of body and mind, the more easily she can flow with the process of birth...the more a woman tries to be in control, the more she fears the inevitable loss of control..."